what can I do so my boyfriend wants to have sex with me? his excuse - low sex drive
he likes to cuddle but that's it. if I don't take the inititative he just cuddles for hours and then falls asleep. he doesn't even give me passionate kisses. he says he shows his feelings for me in other ways but he just won't be physical. it's like he's embarrassed to open up. we're together 3.5 years and he's like that for almost 2.5 years but even in the 1st year his sexual interest was very low. I suspect it's his inexperience as he didn't have a proper girlfriend before we got together (he's now 41 years).
Asked by IzzyG
This is something I can only work out with your boyfriend, as i't his issue and i would need to discover what is holding him back from sexual commitment. If you can get him to write to me I will happily try to help him. Sorry I can't be of any direct help here, but it's not your problem it's his.
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Before looking at inexperience or psychological causes, it is important to examine and exclude any physical conditions such as low testosterone levels, poor circulation, high blood pressure, diabetes, etc... So a medical check up would be helpful. Incidentally most healthy men often wake up in the morning with an erection. Men have several erections a night as part of their sleep cycle. Many times they wake up and find they are still erect. The male testosterone level is at its highest in the early morning during restful sleep, usually built up during the night and at its highest around 4-6 a.m. from my understanding. An erection is caused by a rush of blood to the penis. A man's penis can become erect without any kind of arousing stimulation; this is known as "spontaneous erection." If he does NOT have these spontaneous morning erections, there may be a medical/physical reason for low sex drive and could possibly be treated successfully.