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Two weeks on the wagon - how to stay there!

From: Succeed, Love, Fly,

13
January
2010
Two weeks on the wagon - how to stay there!

Ten days into the new you - whether you have quit the booze, fags, sugar or any unhealthy relationship, it’s a crucial time! Seven tips to keep you on track….

Take time out to think about what you have achieved.

It is all too easy to sail along, forgetting the courageous and determined success you have accomplished. The importance of self congratulation cannot be over estimated. The inner you loves appreciation and acknowledgment, without it can feel taken for granted and may become mischievous!

Be consciously aware of seductive behaviour.

I have named the mischievousness as our ‘Monkey Mind’, where our mind finds ways to play games with us. It is ingenious and once aware of it’s playful antics to draw us back into old habits, we can treat it like a naughty child, with gentle discipline and re asserting clear boundaries.

Well embedded habits will not relinquish their power easily and will often wait until you are feeling confident that you have things under control before presenting a host of seductive tricks to set you back. Be prepared for this phase and when it comes, see it for what it is.

It might help to visualise your habit as a person, the alluring Ms/Mr Smoke, for instance. Having had a long run of partying with you, having you dance to their tune, in a warm and cosy environment they are not going to just up sticks and walk away. Oh no!

If you are feeling tempted, don’t wait for the feeling to magnify - call your Coach immediately!

Be ready for anger.

As the initial euphoria of feeling clean and shiny keeps you on track it is often given over to a deep and uncomfortable anger. Anger over the amount of time you have wasted under the power of your old unwanted habit, the missed opportunities and the destructive elements that it has brought into your life, perhaps for many years.

Be clear that this is a natural process for two reasons. All habits mentioned above fill a void - an empty space where discomfort lurks - the place where unresolved emotions are kept in check. Anger is one of our strongest emotions and it is likely that you have not found ways to resolve it in the past, instead you have suppressed it with your chosen ‘drug’. (Yes, food used in this way holds the same qualities as alcohol, recreational drugs or cigarettes!)

The anger is likely to show itself through irritation with things external initially and then move to yourself.

It is important to allow this anger to surface and manage it! Minimise disharmony with those around you and of course which is inwardly directed by taking up exercise. Something that makes you work and sweat - you will create those happy little fellas Endorphins, the brains natural feel good chemicals.

If the anger is directed at somebody specific, it might help to write them a letter, pour your anger out in the letter, let it flow. Keep writing until you feel calm. It is your anger, take responsibility for the emotion and burn the letter when you are ready to release

Focus on what the perpetrator of your anger, the situation, taught you. If you are angry with your parents - what qualities do you now possess as a result of their behaviour? Angry with an ex? What lessons have your learned and put into action? Turn your anger into a form of appreciation - however bad it was, it taught you something and that’s a positive result!

Work off aggression and further add to your detox as you sweat! However much of an effort it is to get yourself running, swimming or into the gym - as Nike would say - “JUST DO IT”!

My own experience proves that people who embark on a solid and regular exercise program during quit stage have a considerably better success rate than those who don’t.

I would be honest in saying that I’m not sure I can recall anyone who has succeeded in their clean up goals without it - medium and long term.

It is unlikely that you have processed this deep anger for the duration of your habit and therefore it may feel alien and deeply uncomfortable to you. See it as a great sign of your progress, another layer of you coming to life. If it has been suppressed for years, it is no wonder it is coming to the fore with great force now, accept it willingly. Any emotion that you attempt to resist is being fed with the power of your resistance and grow.

Other emotions are also likely to surface, sadness, guilt, resentment, fear…. When repressed they sap your energy and life force - acknowledging them and providing a safe and healthy outlet is vital for health and vitality!

You cannot change the past and are now taking responsibility for the present, stick with it, remain firmly in the NOW - looking back, other than for the purpose of learning lessons, is a futile exercise! You did the best with what you had and knew at the time - let it go - it’s done, dusted and over!

Remain on your path - no deviation.

It is important that you continue what you have done over the past ten days in order to continue your success. It is around now that it can be tempting to take your foot off the gas and let the small things slip. This will not serve you, it takes six weeks to change a habit and that means all of the steps that are leading to your successful clean up must remain in place!

If you have been drinking lemon and hot water every morning to help you detox, for instance, reverting back to the old you - a cup of steaming latte - is a step in the wrong direction. It is simply too soon and one step so often leads to another - as you know so well!

The mind set you adopted at the beginning of this process can be difficult for some to maintain. Take control of your mind, take yourself back to the time of your highest motivation, re-read your list of reasons you decided to make this change. Fire up your guns with more ammunition, ensure there is an arsenal at your disposal by continuing to focus on what this new you is gaining from the change.

Treat yourself to something fabulous.

All stick and no carrot is dull and tedious, be kind to yourself! We’re moving towards the two week landmark - what are you going to give yourself to say “Thank you”? Be sure it is something in alignment with your goal. If you have quit sugar and carbs for instance - a donut is not a treat, it’s an excuse to step backwards! Texting the toxic ex to let them know of your success - ditto! What would make you FEEL GOOD about yourself? A massage, pedicure, new underwear, tickets to a longed for show or football match? Maybe an extra session with your Coach ;-)

Focus.

Whatever you focus on will be magnified. If you’re starting to focus on what you don’t have - snap out of it - you don’t have it because it is not conducive to the life you are creating for yourself. You made this great decision for very good reasons, they are the point of focus - what you are working towards. Make your goals shiny, bright and take time to refresh and replenish them with your absolute focus every day.

What will you hear, see and feel as you buy your first next-size-down shirt? How good are you going to feel when you are out on the dating scene, flirting and feeling fabulous for the first time in too long? Getting out socialising and being part of a fun and healthy crowd who respect and like you? This is your focus, where your power is, start to become aware of your personal power and how it is directed - it’s your greatest ally!

The New You.

As you shed the skin of old habits you are uncovering a fresh and shiny new you. It may feel strange, you may feel vulnerable - this is a skin that has not seen the light of day before and a wonderful evidence that you are moving forward, creating a new identity.

You have created new space within you, remain consciously aware of how you fill that space. Choose what you want to fill the space, it is possible to fill it with another unwanted habit or something that adds to your vision, your objective and the new life you are walking towards.

Be proud of your achievement and be prepared to stand out from the crowd. If you were quitting a habit with a partner or friends and they have fallen off the wagon, human nature dictates that they will feel a whole lot more comfortable if you fall off too - stand your ground and encourage them but if the temptation is too much, give yourself a reason not to see them until you have your new habits and objectives firmly in situ!

This is an exciting time, you are able to be and achieve so much and by strengthening your self esteem and providing evidence to yourself that you are in the driving seat, you are creating a new habit in itself - the habit of self achievement and success - you will begin to expect it from yourself and rightly so!

Welcome to your new path and please feel to pop any questions you have on the comments board and I will be happy to respond.

WHAT A GREAT NEW DECADE THIS IS FOR YOU!! WELL DONE!

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I wasn’t aware of my purpose. Feeling numb and unfulfilled, I decided to change it! I studied NLP and found the results astounding. Working as a Director for a Blue Chip I used NLP with my teams and discovered something I love to do - assisting people to make the change they want in their lives. That was 10 years ago and now, having added many change tools, I have my own business and work with clients to facilitate their success and have never been happier.

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